Monday, January 11, 2016

Hat's Off to You!

Whether this blog finds you on a sunny beach or a snowy slope, the question I have for you is, how do you feel about wearing a hat?
How I usually deal with a hat - carry it around.

This may seem like a strange question, but the reason I ask is, I feel ridiculous wearing them. How does one develop a fear, almost a phobia, of wearing a hat? I couldn’t tell you and honestly, I’ve spent time wondering about it.

This may very well be my problem. I’m an alien.

I’ve tried all manner of hats. The one I end up feeling least ridiculous wearing is a jester hat, and that’s only because you’re supposed to look silly when you wear it.

Years ago, and yes, I’ve been thinking about this for years, I contemplated the fact that women used to wear hats on a daily basis. Many of them (the hats) were quite unattractive.

Then, some of them are exquisitely beautiful.

This may be the singular reason I still like to look at photos of royal families. Their hats.

I went looking for reasons. My face shape, the size of my head, the way my hair dangles or pokes out. I’ve stuck on many a hat and stared in the mirror and assessed this and I’ve come to a conclusion. It’s an utterly ludicrous fear. My head size is normal. My face shape is normal. My hair, whether long or short, does what other peoples does, so that can’t be it. It’s all in my head.

So, in an effort to confront this fear, I have been wearing hats. In public, even. I crocheted a few over the holidays, and have bravely walked out of the house wearing them and guess what? No one keeled over from the sight. Now, I cannot claim that my fears are gone. I am so cognizant of the hat that I find myself narcissistic, swerving down the road as I check the mirror to make sure nothing bad has happened to my head while I’m driving.

I don’t recommend this.

One absolutely positive benefit is short hair bedhead. While 99% of the worlds female population has long hair, I do not. It’s pretty short, so there are days (most, in fact) that I wake up to hair standing straight up or poking out funny, possibly even jutting out the opposite direction from normal. If I plunk a hat on, not only is this issue disguised, but the hat actually sorts the problem out. When I take it off, all the misplaced, oddly bent strands are still whacky, but now they are flattened to my head, making them slightly less obvious.

You may not see this as beneficial, but then I’m guessing you have long hair.

My goal for the winter of 2016? To conquer this fingernail biting, nausea inducing, head itching fear, so that my ears can for once in their lives, experience the joy of warmth, in winter. It’s either that, or grow my hair long again so that said ears and neck are protected. Though… I have acquired quite a collection of scarves.

Thanks for reading.