Monday, January 24, 2011

You Put Your Right Foot in You take Your Right Foot Out

Instead of putting off various blog ideas for another day, I have decided to write down all the things running through my mind.

Thought number one: I finished wrapping my Christmas presents three days ahead of time! Yea for me. I was able to have my longed for Christmas Eve. I will confess that I bought one present on the 24th and instead of wrapping it, I put it under the tree as was. I am here to officially report the gift was still gratefully received and there were no comments resembling, “What the heck, I don’t want this. It wasn’t wrapped.” So next year, I’m going to get even braver!

Thought number two: New Year’s Resolutions! We had a lovely New Year’s Eve dinner at home with our children. At the end of dinner, where much of the conversation revolved around the idea of “dining” versus “eating,” our daughter asked what our resolutions were going to be. Well, I just get the heebie-jeebies at the thought. I have made them, never kept them, learned not to make them, and so the world has continued to happily revolve year after year since said lesson learned. Deflecting back to her for a while, I thought of one I could add when the topic returned to me. “I am going to try and not worry about the things I cannot change,” I said with conviction.

So here we are on January 14th and the question is, “Have I been successful?” The answer is, “Of course not.” I have learned to look at life a little more gently, a little more kindly, and I give myself permission for “do-overs” all the time. Honestly, I am rather impressed with how little the number of “do-overs” is. I was the Queen of hashing, rehashing, debating, berating (myself), and angst. Most people who know me well know that faster than Superman can fly, I can take myself to the worst case scenario in any situation and work my way backwards. I jokingly say that “this way I am always pleasantly surprised when the worst doesn’t happen.” Over the last six months I have really focused on living in the moment and many other issues, so the reality is, I had a pretty good head start on this resolution and it may be the first I have a good chance at achieving.

More on resolutions! A biggest loser scenario came up at the house. Mac and I would both like to shed a few pounds. So, what better way than to have a little healthy competition? I’d just like to report that by the time you read this I will have yet to weigh in… this directly ties into the other resolution, “I am going to try and not worry about the things I cannot change.” I go with the “How do my clothes feel” method. Since that fluctuates I’m assuming I will do better on some days than others.

Yes! I have complete control and can and will lose weight. I just keep giving myself do-overs on the actual weigh-in. I have worked out regularly, cut out a lot of unnecessary snacking, and have increased my water intake. I just have no idea how much I weighed when I started, so therefore I have the luxury of deciding how much weight I’ve lost. When I nail the number down, I’ll let you know.

Ironically one of my son’s first writing assignments on his return to school after the holidays was on Resolutions. He wrote a well-crafted essay on what his resolutions were and what needed to be done to achieve them. The last question he was to address in the essay was whether or not he thought he would keep his resolution. Boldly, the answer he wrote was “No.” He explained that he’d likely forget and that it was a lot of work, and so, he couldn’t see it happening. I tell you, I laughed so hard. He was candid, honest and human!!

Thought number three: Maybe this should have been thought number two, but since the conversation has been on-going since the Holidays, it is getting last billing. Tying into the whole dislike of wrapping, I have now learned from several parents that the secret of Santa has been revealed or that the parents would like to reveal the secret of Santa.

We had a similar conversation at our house. Since “Supreme Ruler” is what appears on my husband’s caller ID when I call him at work, I invoked my powers and kiboshed this notion. Everyone must make their own decisions, but I’m not ready to leave that part of our life behind, and I think that counts. In my most authoritative voice, somewhere around midnight on December 23rd, I asked why we went down the path in the first place if we weren’t going to see it through (yes, another insight into my personality). Well, needless to say, you don’t want to be dragged through that entire conversation. All I know is we were really tired, and someone compromised (it wasn’t me), and we’ll rehash this at some later date.

Maybe I’m the only one fooling myself at our abode, but I need the magic to continue, and we don’t live in Disneyland. It isn’t because I’m not ready for the kids to grow up. I think it has more to do with the fact that I found out through my siblings, not self-discovery and I wasn’t ready. I wanted to believe, but I was still wobbling on the path with one toe in the pool of childhood, and one toe in an ocean of puberty. When our kids arrive at that moment, the one where they verbally acknowledge beliefs and suspicions, I will pony up. I just need them to do it.

Thought number four: A Happy New Year to you all. (Just so you know, I began writing this on 1/14, finished it up on 1/24 and still haven’t weighed myself.)

Thought number five: I have no idea where the green underline symbols came from, so please ignore. I will attempt to solve this. (No hidden messages.)

Thanks for reading!