Shoes and Possibly Travel!
It’s a toss up. To be honest I was trying to decide between
writing a blog about shoes or comedy writing. Why? I dunno. When
confronted with these conundrums I always turn to doing a little research. I’m a very
visual person, so when I see something, things gel and I can get some focus. I went
in search of inspiration on the interweb. Shoes
and travel related topics kept
popping up on the screen, not comedy writing. I decided to listen to my inner
voice – persistently warbling on while my brain somersaulted
into action – telling me what to write
about. (In truth, I think the coffee kicking in helped a bit.)
Let’s start with shoes. I love them. Have you met a girl who doesn’t?
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| I am currently obsessing over these! |
Anyway, the manager put me on the sales floor and I trolled
the vacant back corner, which was where the men’s department was located, and proceeded
to straighten shoe boxes and keep myself busy doing pretty much nothing. A few
men staggered in and out, prodding at shoes, and looked at price tags, before stuffing
their hands in their pockets and leaning back, looking quite contemplative. I quickly
came to understand that meant that the ratty shoes they were wearing sufficed
and my sixteen-year-old insights weren’t going to budge them.
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| Seriously? I don't get this. |
When I eventually mustered up the courage to wander into the
women’s department (99% of the store), I strategically picked the
quintessential little old lady; blue hair, frail, short, big smile, who rested her
bony hand on my forearm and called me “dear”. I figured I could be honest with
her and she’d be patient and understanding. Within thirty seconds of chatting
with her, I told her I would ask my manager to assist her. It turns out she had
some major foot issue and in my teenage mind, that little old lady and her
foot deformities were way out of my league. I am not proud, but I will admit,
that I was not looking forward to seeing what was ensconced inside her shoe. I kept
a wide berth the rest of the time she was there.
It was not lost upon me, even at that tender age, that if you
had a foot deformity, shopping for shoes at a budget chain was not a good
idea. As I write this blog the thought gels that many a foot deformity has
evolved from wearing certain shoes, discount or spendy. But for the most part,
women will withstand pain, comparable to childbirth, in order to wear a rocking
pair of heels.
From previous blogs you’ll know that I subscribe to evolution
and trying to understand why our ancestors selected mates with certain
tendencies. Why do men pick women who like, no, love, high-heels? Really, it’s
their fault when you think about it.
Taken straight from the Urban Dictionary: Fuck Me Shoes: High
spikey and cutaway women's shoes. Often abbreviated to FM shoes. Please note
that flat shoes were NOT mentioned. If you think I am making this up,
please refer to this really well written article:
Science of high-heels and their affect on men.
How does traveling fit in to this? No matter where I am, what
my budget is, once I’ve managed to make my way through the by-ways, museums,
tourist traps, and authentically amazing sites, I always hit shoe stores. There
is something absolutely decadent and exquisite in caressing a pair
of Giuseppe Zanotti heels in Rome or Christian
Louboutin’s in Paris.
In case you’re wondering, the first
thing I bought with the money I earned from working at Payless Shoes was a pair
of Ferragamo’s! I even took up ballroom dancing so I could justify buying more heels!
And because I love all things fashion, I implore you to look at these gorgeous shoes. Shmexy shoes from 2015 runway shows.
Thanks for reading!
Thanks for reading!
