Monday, November 2, 2015

Women and High-Heels, What's to wonder about?

Shoes and Possibly Travel!

It’s a toss up. To be honest I was trying to decide between writing a blog about shoes or comedy writing. Why? I dunno. When confronted with these conundrums I always turn to doing a little research. I’m a very visual person, so when I see something, things gel and I can get some focus. I went in search of inspiration on the interweb. Shoes and travel related topics kept popping up on the screen, not comedy writing. I decided to listen to my inner voice – persistently warbling on while my brain somersaulted into action – telling me what to write about. (In truth, I think the coffee kicking in helped a bit.)

Let’s start with shoes. I love them. Have you met a girl who doesn’t?

I am currently obsessing over these!
My first legit job was selling shoes at Payless Shoe Source. I was so nervous. I mean honestly, what did I know about shoes? Other than the fact that I loved them, what made me an authority on shoes? My first day was a Saturday in November, somewhere around the fourteenth of the month. It was soooo long ago it is a bit difficult to remember, but it was so momentous that I remember that much. I can’t remember my first kiss. Kinda sad when you think about it.

Anyway, the manager put me on the sales floor and I trolled the vacant back corner, which was where the men’s department was located, and proceeded to straighten shoe boxes and keep myself busy doing pretty much nothing. A few men staggered in and out, prodding at shoes, and looked at price tags, before stuffing their hands in their pockets and leaning back, looking quite contemplative. I quickly came to understand that meant that the ratty shoes they were wearing sufficed and my sixteen-year-old insights weren’t going to budge them.
Seriously? I don't get this.
When I eventually mustered up the courage to wander into the women’s department (99% of the store), I strategically picked the quintessential little old lady; blue hair, frail, short, big smile, who rested her bony hand on my forearm and called me “dear”. I figured I could be honest with her and she’d be patient and understanding. Within thirty seconds of chatting with her, I told her I would ask my manager to assist her. It turns out she had some major foot issue and in my teenage mind, that little old lady and her foot deformities were way out of my league. I am not proud, but I will admit, that I was not looking forward to seeing what was ensconced inside her shoe. I kept a wide berth the rest of the time she was there.

It was not lost upon me, even at that tender age, that if you had a foot deformity, shopping for shoes at a budget chain was not a good idea. As I write this blog the thought gels that many a foot deformity has evolved from wearing certain shoes, discount or spendy. But for the most part, women will withstand pain, comparable to childbirth, in order to wear a rocking pair of heels.

From previous blogs you’ll know that I subscribe to evolution and trying to understand why our ancestors selected mates with certain tendencies. Why do men pick women who like, no, love, high-heels? Really, it’s their fault when you think about it.

Taken straight from the Urban Dictionary: Fuck Me Shoes: High spikey and cutaway women's shoes. Often abbreviated to FM shoes. Please note that flat shoes were NOT mentioned. If you think I am making this up, please refer to this really well written article:
Science of high-heels and their affect on men.
How does traveling fit in to this? No matter where I am, what my budget is, once I’ve managed to make my way through the by-ways, museums, tourist traps, and authentically amazing sites, I always hit shoe stores. There is something absolutely decadent and exquisite in caressing a pair of Giuseppe Zanotti heels in Rome or Christian Louboutin’s in Paris.

In case you’re wondering, the first thing I bought with the money I earned from working at Payless Shoes was a pair of Ferragamo’s! I even took up ballroom dancing so I could justify buying more heels!

And because I love all things fashion, I implore you to look at these gorgeous shoes. Shmexy shoes from 2015 runway shows.

Thanks for reading!